Are Chinese and Korean people kinder and warm-hearted than Japanese people?

中國人和韓國人比日本人友善熱情嗎?

Aya Shawn

新加坡國立大學計算機科學碩士 10 月 11 日

I have a say in this issue.
When I was young, I often went to Japan.
In recent years, I have visited China frequently.
Generally speaking, people in these two countries are very friendly and enthusiastic, and are willing to help others, such as foreigners like me.
However, the feeling they give me is indeed very different.

對于這個問題我有發言權。
我年輕的時候經常去日本。
近年來,我經常訪問中國。
總體來說,這兩個國家的人都非常友好熱情,愿意幫助別人,比如我這樣的外國人。
不過,他們給我的感覺確實很不一樣。

Let’s talk about the Japanese first
The Japanese are the most "polite" people. They always greet you politely when they see you. Will proactively say "Hello", "Welcome", "Sorry to trouble you", "Sorry". They like to express enthusiasm to others by bowing.
When you ask them for help on the road, in a store, or in a restaurant, they usually respond enthusiastically.
But once you become familiar with Japan. You will find that the enthusiasm and politeness of the Japanese often stay on the surface, giving you the illusion of enthusiasm.
When you really need a lot of their help, they'll tactfully avoid it.
For example: "I'm very sorry, I don't know about this", "Sorry, I don't have this either" ,"I'm really sorry, you can look it up on Google"。

我們先來說說日本人
日本人是最“有禮貌”的人。 他們見到你時總是禮貌地跟你打招呼。 會主動說“你好”、“歡迎”、“抱歉打擾你”、“對不起”。 他們喜歡通過鞠躬來向別人表達熱情。
當你在路上、商店或餐館向他們尋求幫助時,他們通常會熱情回應。
但是一旦你熟悉了日本。 你會發現日本人的熱情和禮貌常常停留在表面,給你一種熱情的錯覺。
當你確實需要他們很多的幫助時,他們會巧妙地回避。
例如說:“非常抱歉,我不知道這個”,“抱歉,我也沒有這個”,“真的很抱歉,你可以在Google上查一下”。

Generally speaking, the Japanese give me a feeling of "hot on the outside and cold on the inside".
Polite and kind words are often spoken, and ceremonial movements such as bowing are very frequent.
But the sense of boundaries between people is very strong, and the help they are willing to give to others is very limited. At the same time, they also have a "don't cause trouble to others" mentality.
This makes "asking for help" an unpopular behavior in Japan.

所以一般來說,日本人給我的感覺是“外熱內冷”(假惺惺)。
他們經常說禮貌和友善的話語,而且鞠躬等身體禮儀動作也很頻繁。
但在日本人與人之間的界限感非常強,他們真正愿意給予別人的幫助非常有限。
同時,他們也有“不給別人添麻煩”的心態。
這使得“尋求幫助”在日本成為一種不受歡迎的行為。

The experience in China is exactly the opposite of Japan.
When I first went to China, I felt that Chinese people didn’t care much about “politeness”. When they see you, they won't even say "hello" or "welcome", and rarely say "sorry". Even when you walk into a store or restaurant, no one says "Welcome" to you. Even if Chinese people are friends, they don't have any etiquette when meeting each other. I have never even seen Chinese people bow to each other or to me.

中國的經歷與日本恰恰相反。
我第一次去中國的時候,感覺中國人不太注重“禮貌”。 當他們看到你時,他們甚至不會說“你好”或“歡迎”,也很少說“對不起”。 即使您走進一家商店或餐館,也沒有人對您說“歡迎”。 中國人之間即使是朋友,見面時也沒有任何禮儀。 我甚至從未見過中國人互相鞠躬或向我鞠躬。

Their biggest ceremonial gesture is shaking hands or patting you on the shoulder.
Compared with the Japanese, the Chinese have much less ceremonial language and actions. So, I initially thought that Chinese people were not that enthusiastic.
But after spending a few days in China, I found that Chinese people's personalities are completely different from Japanese people.
They are sparse in superficial words and actions, but often provide you with more practical help.

他們最大的禮儀動作就是握手或拍拍你的肩膀。
與日本人相比,中國人的禮儀語言和動作要少得多。 所以,我一開始以為中國人沒有那么熱情。
但在中國待了幾天后,我發現中國人的性格與日本人完全不同。
他們很少有表面的言語和行動,但卻常常為你提供更多實際的幫助。

If you simply ask for directions on the road, they will not only tell you the result clearly, but some will even interrupt their own itinerary to accompany you to a certain key destination before waving goodbye to you. In my work, a person who never said "hello" or "welcome" to me quietly gave me great help when I encountered difficulties. When I went to thank him with a gift, he got angry and said, "Don't do these false things, friends don't need this."

如果你只是在中國的路上問路,他們不僅會清楚地告訴你結果,有的甚至會中斷自己的行程,陪你到某個關鍵目的地,然后跟你揮手告別。 在我的工作中,一個從來不曾對我說過“你好”、“歡迎”的人在我遇到困難時悄悄地給了我很大的幫助。 當我去送禮物感謝他時,他生氣了,說:“下次再這樣,我就沒你這個朋友了”。

The feeling given to me by the Chinese people is that they are "cold on the outside and hot on the inside". They seem to abandon too many polite words and don't like physical gestures. But they are often more willing to provide in-depth help, especially when they know you are a "guest" or treat you as a friend. When faced with others asking for help, Chinese people feel that they have been trusted. Some Chinese friends even explained to me in casual chat that they believe that "a great favor cannot be thanked without words". True help and friendship do not require words of thanks, it is only correct to keep them in mind.

中國人給我的感覺是“外冷內熱”(做比說多)。 他們似乎放棄了太多的禮貌用語,也不喜歡肢體動作。 但他們往往更愿意提供深入的幫助,尤其是當他們知道你是“客人”或把你當作朋友時。 當面對別人尋求幫助時,中國人感覺自己被信任了。 一些中國朋友甚至在閑聊中向我解釋說,他們認為“大恩不言謝”。 意思是說真正的幫助和友誼不需要言語的感謝,只有銘記在心才是正確的。

In short, as a foreign visitor.
You have to understand the two completely different "enthusiasms" of the Chinese and the Japanese. Adapt to the local culture and customs and you will be popular.

簡而言之,作為一個外國游客。
你必須理解中國人和日本人兩種完全不同的“熱情”。 適應當地的文化和習俗,你就會受歡迎。